Southern Handful.

I am a big ol’ southern handful for some people.  I know it, I own it, I admit it, and I kinda wanna apologize for it, and Lord knows, I have many a time, but I’m trying to learn not to.
 
I am who I am.
I am loud sometimes.
I laugh with a weird giggle.
I cuss now and then, not big words, just little ones.  I’m sorry, God.
I get overly excited over the silliest things.
I get looks for getting so excited and then I get quiet. . . very briefly.

If I get told to relax, I clench my teeth.  It’s like telling a 3 year old to sit down and be still.

When I buy a new pair of shoes or a top I love, I want to buy one in every color (before they’re gone, right?!).

And when I read a new author I love, I look up all the books they’ve ever written in order, and start ordering them so I can read every last one in order.  Which rarely happens.  Thus the reason Goodwill has a rather nice book collection now.
 
I love meeting strangers. . . is that strange? I will talk to a person I’ve never met to the point you might think we’re besties and they probably think I’m weird.
 
My brain goes 100 mph and my mouth 101 . . . sometimes . . . after 5 cups of coffee but sometimes when I wake up.
I talk way too early in the morning for most people . . . before they’ve had their first cup of coffee . . . and then apologize for talking so much and for apologizing.
I’m indecisive or should I say I change my mind like a lot.   Or maybe it’s both.  I’m not sure which one but I think it’s both.  I think I’m trying to work on this.
 
I like to dance in the kitchen or in the backyard or anywhere someone sweet will dance with me even though I know they may not want to. Then I feel bad for asking … kinda…. but not really.
 
I use a lot of exclamation points. Okay, I said it!!!!!!
 
I am notorious for starting a new venture, I mean to the point I drive myself and my family and my friends crazy.  Anything to make a dolla!  I used to scare my best friend, Tammy, when I’d call and say, “Guess how we can make money now?  Idea #87!”  I have no doubt she rolled her eyes and giggled at the same time.  We’re still figuring those 87 things out or she’s waiting on me to do that.
 
I overthink things… okay, I way overthink things. But I mean, don’t you want to know why she did that or he decided that or how that works or when that MIGHT happen? Or is that just me?
 

I press buttons. No, not just people’s emotional buttons although I do that too, I mean literal buttons. If there’s a radio or a gadget or anything that has buttons, I want to press them to see what they do!  Sometimes, it’s not a good outcome, and it’s certainly a good thing I don’t ride in airplanes with ejection seats… there has to be this one big button for that.

I often prefer conversations with toddlers, they make so much more sense, and just don’t take things so seriously.

 
I worry way too much even though God told me not to.
I care way too much to the point I can drive myself crazy.
I cry at commercials, thoughts, and well, the drop of a hat.
I would give you the shirt off my back. 
I am a hugger and no, during this pandemic, I am not okay.
I say I love you a lot but when I do, I mean it.
I love hearing I love you when someone really means it.  It makes me feel safe.
 
I wear my heart on my sleeve because I want it to feel everything, every last thing.  I don’t want not to feel.
I pray driving down the road, a lot.  I pray in the grocery store, a lot.  I pray in the shower, a lot.  I just pray a lot.
I love words, thoughts, taking photographs, anything that will make someone smile, laugh, cry (in a good way), and think.
 
I’ll stop there. I had to turn the page 3 times already.
 

With each passing year, of which they are doubling in speed, I am learning that all of these flaws, faults, quirks, annoyances, whatever the heck they are, comprise this totally imperfect, fluffy, messy, sad today, happy tomorrow, emotional, caring, loving, joyful girl who was created by the greatest Inventor of all time.  You were created by Him too.  He doesn’t make mistakes, right?   He made me exactly the way I am…. bless His heart, bless your heart.  He also made you exactly the way you are too.  While there are days people may struggle with our . . .personalities, He never struggles (and we just need to pray for those people to stop struggling).  He may laugh, shake his head, wonder what in the world…  but He never struggles.  He just watches as we play at His feet and He marvels at his masterpiece, the one with the cracks and dents and spilled paint, in the exact places He intended them to be.  I love that Guy for making me, loving me, and helping me to love me.  I pray He does the same for you.  Oh, and let’s pray for the people who struggle to love us too, they need prayers as much as we do, right?

Love you!  Now go out there and embrace you, flaunt you, be you.  Just be you.  God don’t make no junk.  

Tracey
        

 

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