This story came to me recently out of the blue, as most things do, and I had to get it on paper. The church I describe in the story is my home church where I grew up and spent many years building memories as a child and teenager. It is a place I cherish. The girl, well… as I wrote the story, I could not stop thinking about this precious little girl I have photographed many times. She’s beautiful, with blond hair often in pigtails or braids, and with eyes the color of the ocean. Her name is Willow and it was like she was meant to be in the story. I hope you enjoy and if you have thoughts, comments, critiques, I welcome your words.

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Willow hid behind the big oak tree where she and her friends played all the time.  Her little yellow sundress reminded her of buttercups and she’d promised Mama she’d keep it clean while she played at Nora’s house this afternoon.  Only she didn’t go to Nora’s house.  She had other things on her mind and she was waiting here at the church until she knew everyone was gone.

Once she felt sure she was alone, Willow snuck around to the back and tried the door to the fellowship hall.  It was unlocked and she slipped inside quietly closing the door behind her. She walked through the kitchen to the Big Room as everybody called it.  It looked so different with only the window light coming through, but oh, how she loved this room.  Bible schools and crafts, story time with Ms. Marsha, and pretty soon, she’d be old enough for the sleep-ins the big kids got to have.  Just last week, they’d had family night again and Mama won at bingo two times while Reverend RJ made everybody laugh with his Moses costume.  She had a lot of memories here for this little 8-year-old girl. 

Willow finally reached the stairs leading up to the sanctuary, the Stairway to Heaven as her Daddy called them. She almost giggled out loud at the thought of that but covered her mouth to keep from making a sound. She tiptoed on up the stairs and when she reached the top, Willow saw the doors to the sanctuary were closed.  She had hoped to be able to sneak in and be sure she was alone but she had come this far and was not turning back now. Willow already had a plan to tell anyone she might see that she had come back for her Bible she’d left on the pew. That would work.

Willow turned the handle and opened the door enough to slip inside and that’s when her eyes grew big.  This room was the prettiest room in the church, she knew that, but today it was magical.  The chandeliers were off and the altar was dim but the room was sparkling from the sun shining through the stained-glass windows.  It looked like beams coming straight from heaven and the colors blended into rainbows as they reached the pews. 

She didn’t know how long she’d been standing there taking it all in when she finally started walking up the aisle.  Willow headed towards the pew with the brightest light shining on it and as she got closer, she realized it was her pew!  Did God put that there just for her?  She smiled and hoped so as she sat down in the colors.  It felt so good that she forgot that anyone would surely see her now glowing in that pew.

After taking in all she could see, Willow decided it was time to ask what she came to ask, so she closed her eyes and put her little hands together.  She was about to say the words out loud when she heard it.  Her name.  Startled, she raised her head, and listened closely.  There was only silence.  She looked in the pew beside her to be sure her Bible was still there, just in case she had to explain herself, and then she looked around the room that appeared to be empty. 

Finally, she decided it had to be her imagination, so she closed her eyes to try again. And before she could get out, “Dear God,” there it was again. This time, a little louder, and coming from the front of the church.  Willow looked in that direction and thought she saw movement in the shadows.  Someone was there with her and she didn’t know whether to run or hide under a pew; she did neither.  She stared ahead, waiting, when suddenly, a breeze filled the church as if the windows were open.  It wrapped itself around her and blew the curls in her hair making her laugh, this time out loud.  For a moment, she forgot she was not alone, but as the breeze calmed, she remembered, and looked back to the front of the church.  That was when she saw him.  Out of the shadows appeared a boy, around her age, and as he came into the light, he said, “Hey Willow, where ya’ been?”

Willow couldn’t speak nor could she take her eyes off the boy.  He was wearing a little white suit with a white bow tie, and – wait.  Were those wings on his back?  She blinked a few times, really hard, but yes, the wings were still there. Willow’s eyes were frozen on the boy.

He started towards her, his brown curls bouncing as he walked, and his eyes sparkled. She could not stop staring at them. As the young boy reached her pew, he said, “Willow, it’s been a little quiet in here, I’m glad you came back!”

Willow’s little heart raced faster and finally, quietly, she said, “Do I know you?” The boy smiled the biggest smile and said, “Sure, you do! I’m here all the time!”  Now, Willow was really confused.  Surely, she would remember this boy, he had wings for Pete’s sake, but she didn’t recognize him.  As she studied his freckles and curls and those eyes, and those wings peeking up over his shoulders, all she could think was that she had to touch those wings. Finally, she said, “But I’ve never seen you before.  How did you know I was coming?” The boy laughed out loud this time and said, “Well, not to show off or anything, my Papa doesn’t like when I do that, but I kind of know everything.”

Willow doubted that more than a little bit but didn’t want to insult him by saying so. As the boy saw her studying him, he asked, “Why don’t you ask what you came to ask today and we’ll go from there?”

Willow pondered for a few minutes what to do, wondering how this boy could help her, but he did have wings which had to mean something.  Finally, she swallowed hard, and said, “Well, I came to ask God why I don’t ever see Him at church.  I mean people say he’s real, Reverend RJ says He’s really real, but I don’t understand why He doesn’t go to church like I do.  Mama makes me get all dressed up on Sundays so we can come see God but I … well…  I never really see Him.  Why doesn’t He get dressed up and come too?’

The boy studied Willow with the kindest eyes and after what felt like minutes, he leaned towards her and whispered, “Willow, God is here every Sunday, just like you.”

Willow’s baby blue eyes stared at the boy, wondering how this could be possible, she’d been looking for Him. The boy continued. “He’s in the songs that you sing, the words Reverend RJ preaches, the piano that Ms. Jewelle plays, and in the Sunday School lessons that Ms. Marsha does for you.  Heck, He’s even in the love your Mama bakes into that chicken pie at homecoming, which, by the way, is out of this world!  And He sits in your pew with you every time you’re here.”

Willow looked to the seat beside her, only seeing her Bible, before looking back to the boy. He could see the lost look in her eyes and said, “Willow, you see, God is a feeling, and while you may not see Him, you can always feel Him.  Let me ask you this.  What is your favorite song to sing at church?”

“What?” Willow asked.

“Your favorite hymn, what is it?”

“What a Friend We Have in Jesus.  It was my Nannie’s favorite song too.”

“I love that one and so does Papa! So, how do you feel when you sing that song?”

She replied happily now, “I feel good, I know every word!”

“Well, there you go!  That feeling you get when you’re singing that song, that’s God!  It’s like the way you feel when you’re in Sunday School or hugging Granny Esther. And it’s not just here in this place.” He motioned towards the outside, “He’s out there with you too! He’s that feeling you get when someone is kind to you, when you get a sweet card in the mail from Aunt Lucille, or when your Daddy spends time with you. Willow, God is the feeling of goodness and grace wrapped around you like that breeze you felt a few minutes ago.  It feels so good, and while you can’t see His face, you can feel Him, all the time, just like the breeze. Those good things are everywhere, don’t you agree?”

Willow thought long and hard about the things the boy had said and started listing all the good feelings she could think of. Could they all be God, she wondered?  Surely, she’d like to think so.

As if the boy read her mind, he said softly, “Yes.  All those good things are God in this place and everywhere.” Willow couldn’t believe he knew what she was thinking.

Finally, she asked, “But what about when I feel bad or I’m sick?  Or like when Nannie died.  Where is God when I feel like that?  Those things don’t feel good at all. Does that mean He’s not there?”

The boy then reached over and touched her hand, as he said, “Willow, He is with you then too.  He wraps His big strong arms around you, He catches your tears, He hurts when you heart, and He embraces you with His love until you feel good again and then He stays right there with you. Sometimes, it just takes time to feel Him, it can be hard, but trust me, He is there.  Always.  And you will feel His presence if you try.”

After that, the two sat in the pew together for the longest time, laughing and talking, while Willow asked all the questions her curious young mind could think of, including how he got his wings, and whether God loved ice cream as much as she does.  She learned both answers, one of which made her shout, “I knew it!” Finally, as the sun got lower in the windows, Willow told the boy she had one last question before she had to go home. 

“Can you ask God to forgive me for not seeing Him at church?  I’ve been feeling Him all this time, like you said, and I just didn’t know it.  I will from now on though, I promise.”

The boy replied, “I promise you’re already forgiven but you can talk to Him about it. He loves when you talk to Him, Willow.  And I promise you’re not the only person to ever ask these questions. Even grown-ups sometimes wonder where He is, but I can promise you, He is there with them, even when they doubt. Even when you doubt. He never leaves, we do, and He is always waiting right where we left Him.” Willow smiled.

Finally, the boy said, “Willow, this has been a lot of fun!  Will you pray with me before you go?” to which Willow replied, “I sure will!” She put her little hands together and closed her eyes, so excited to finally get some answers. She waited a moment and when the boy didn’t say a word, Willow started to pray, she had a lot to say.  After she said amen, she opened her eyes and turned to the boy, but he was gone.  She looked around and didn’t see him but as she looked down to her Bible, there lay the tiniest little white feather. Willow smiled as she picked it up and tucked it in her Bible. She knew she had to get home.

Willow walked down the aisle and as she opened the giant front door of the church, that same breeze she’d felt before swept past her and into the church with a gust.  It twirled all around her and it felt so good.  It – felt – so – good.  She called out this time, “Hey God, there you are!” as she smiled as she ran down the steps. 

Willow started towards home realizing she’d never asked the boy his name or even how he knew God.  Somehow she just knew he did and she really hoped he’d be there on Sunday, but she knew for sure that God would be.  She’d felt Him today and He felt as good as the sun shining through the trees and the wind blowing her hair.

Willow knew then He’d been there all along… waiting for her.