The girl who writes these words is a happy girl. I want to spread joy, laughter, and hope as much as I can. And be real. Life was not always joy, laughter, or even hopeful for me, and sharing where I was before versus where I am today… now that’s hope!

When I was going through some of the toughest years of my life a few years ago, I wrote often. I had days I felt the sun didn’t rise and I was just putting one foot in front of the other. My Mom was ill for many years, eventually passing away from Alzheimers. While taking are of my Dad and still learning to heal and navigate life without her, separation and divorce came, and the aftermath that followed. It is all a blur sometimes and painful to think about. My words from those days sounds like a stranger now while also reminding me how times change and who I became through it all. Sure, there are still tough days, but I don’t call them dark anymore; they are just tough days, and I can get through anything.

The Dark Road was my loneliness. I was not alone, I just felt alone. Perception is reality. If you can relate to any of these words, maybe you’re going down your own dark road, I encourage you that the dark road does lead to light…

The Dark Road

Where does this dark road lead?
Does it ever have times of light?
The shadows even hurt some days.
There are moments light peeks through the trees,
a glimmer, and the warmth feels good on my soul.
I cling to those moments like air.
But then the sun sets and feels like it won’t rise again.
I can’t breathe and the darkness envelopes me.
I am falling.
I can’t figure out how I can be all these things…..

the daughter
the Mom
the caregiver
the friend
the supporter
the cheerleader
the companion
the fixer.

I need my own …..

children
Mom
caregiver
friend
supporter
cheerleader
companion
fixer.

When does someone take care of me, fix me, catch me?

Will anyone ever catch me?

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And today, I need to add one last paragraph….

Oh, yes.
My Savior.
In fact, He never let go at all, He never lets go.
And He filled the shadows turning darkness into light.