I wanted everything to be perfect this Christmas. We’d made plans for the 23rd almost a year ago, I sent reminders throughout the year, reminded everybody at Thanksgiving. I was the most excited and hopeful I’d been for the holiday in a few years.
Our children were all coming, the blending of which is still new for all of us, and we’d put a lot of thought into decorating the house, blending our decorations and memories from each of our lives and those of our children. We even used a different tree in a new spot as a way to start anew. We had so much fun choosing each gift for the kids, excited to see them open them, right down to the candy and silly gifts in their stockings. The food, we bought and prepared a lot, we wanted everyone to have plenty of the things they loved. And of course, the little two year old coming would steal the show. All that sounds pretty close to a perfect Christmas, right?
It started with a text from one of our children two days before Christmas saying they forgot they had other plans, they would not be coming. Within 24 hours, a second child messaged they had mixed up the dates and had to work; the same thing happened at Thanksgiving. Overnight, we were missing two parts of our hope for the holiday. B watched me with each change that came as if watching a snowman melting. I did, I cried, and then I was just numb.
The next day before everyone else arrived, I stopped to look at the blended ornaments on the tree. I realized then it was not fair to those coming to be sad, this was all out of my control, and not their fault. I could have gotten upset, pouted, but the older I get, the more I just choose peace. I decided to choose peace over perfection for Christmas.
Our last few years have had major and difficult changes with B losing a spouse to cancer and his son losing his Mom, B selling the house they’d shared together, me going through a divorce after 29 years, and my three children having to learn to split time between two parents. Hearts hurt for a long time, and sometimes they still do, but we are still standing, and each year is more healing than the last for those of us who embrace it. In 2018, I thought Christmas could never be the same again, and the truth is, it can’t and it won’t. But I now know it can be a new beautiful; it already is. And new beautiful Christmas memories will never diminish the ones we all carry from Christmas’ past.
So we had Christmas and even with those we missed, it was wonderful. We laughed, we enjoyed Christmas through the eyes of a two year old, we made new memories, and we ate. A lot. After it was over, we tucked all the unopened gifts away, where they’ll be until…. and through it all, we tuck away the memories of our beautifully imperfect Christmas.
Lives seems so hectic these day, we all need to slow down and enjoy every moment with those we love. Unfortunately Cheyenne had been exposed just before Christmas and was in quarantine therefore our Christmas was imperfect as well. 😞
I’m sorry to hear about Cheyenne, I hope she is okay! I was just frustrated and had to have my pity party for a bit but it doesn’t and didn’t change a thing. We still had a beautiful holiday and I am thankful. Hope you guys are doing well!
Christmas is so hard! We try to have that perfection and make it all magical and it’s so disappointing when it just doesn’t live up to expectations. I think I try too hard but only because I love it so!
Yes, it was a big let down for me… I struggled for a lot of reasons. But I’m with you, I just try too hard, but I do love it:)
We did not celebrate Christmas with the family until December 26, but at least we were all together❤️❤️❤️
I am so glad you were able to be together no matter the date on the calendar!
Meant to tell you I used a page from your book, DO WE HAVE ROOM, as part of my Christmas blessing. Went perfect with a quote I saw on Facebook: Each of us is an Innkeeper who decides if we have room for Jesus!
Oh my goodness, Wanda, that means so much to me! It makes me cry! Thank you for doing that and for telling me that:) I appreciate you and can’t wait to see you on the shore! It’s funny I see you more there than home and we’re less than 3 miles apart, lol.
I can relate to your writings very much and have for the last 15 years — child gets married, little ones started arriving in 2011, lost FIL 9 yrs ago, lost dad two yrs ago, niece hasn’t been home in three yrs, and then came COVID. There will be something that comes up and makes the next one different from the last one — but thru it all we adjust in peace and make blessings with what we are giving.
You got this — each year even though there will be a small glitch here and there — you will move on, enjoy the joys and watch the little one grow.
Blessings on you this sunny day … Judy
It’s like life just keeps throwing us curves, we duck and dodge and adapt. Somehow, we adapt. The little ones make us forget what day it is anyway sometimes, right? I just love you for being here and appreciate you sharing, Judy, we can relate in a lot of ways.
This one hits home! With 2 firemen and me, a nurse, it is so hard to find a time we can all be together. I try very hard to make it special and something the children and grandchildren will grow to love and remember though Christmas will never be the same since my Mom passed, so we must find our new normal. Thank you Tracy! God Bless!
It’s almost as if life has changed so much, especially with the passing of your Mom and Dad, my Mom, that the good old traditional Christmas’ are harder to come by. The new traditions are great but just different. You are such am amazing Mom, Eve, I’ve always admired that aobut you, and I have no doubt you are an even more amazing grandmother. You learned from the best:) Your babies and kids treasure every minute with you for sure whether it’s a holiday or not. Thank you for being on here and for sharing!
My perspective on all of the holidays has been altered significantly over the years. Eons ago, being a young married mother of 2, we frantically scheduled in visits to his family, my mothers, a separate visit to the family that raised me…and worked in our own. As My boys have families on their own, I have missed the joined family, but know they each have another family to share with. With the recent death of my husband, my holidays seem so much less, but I keep memories and a peaceful understanding of this season in my life.
I can’t imagine all you’ve been through especially since the death of your husband. I do remember those early years fitting in everybody everywhere to where there was almost nothing left for us as a family of five. We finally did have to put our foot down a few times. But once a child has their own family, and a good one, it is truly bittersweet. I am thankful my son has a family who loves him but I sure do miss him, his little family, yes, but simply him. Thinking of you, Kathy, and appreciate you sharing.