Today is not about my Mama but another, one whom I felt a need to write about for my own heavy heart if for no other reason.  I watched this mother at the funeral of her baby boy, a young man, but still her baby boy.  It was an amazing gift of grace from God to watch her as she comforted everyone else there.  She walked around and sought out others to hug them and give them peace, to give them a piece of herself, a piece of her son.  I believe God had filled her with a strength that can only come from Him.

As the service proceeded, I watched our children, and they’re all “our” children, grieve and grasp for understanding, as well as all the rest of us there, an understanding that may never come.  I have no doubt as our sons on the baseball team came in, there was not a mother there who did not think as I did, how easily this could have been my son, or daughter, what would I do, how would I survive, how would I get through one day.  The boys all look so grown up on the outside, some with the scruff on their faces, some muscle, some still with freckles, regardless, they’re still our little boys.

As we were driving home, we were discussing whether God knows in advance when we will die, whether He knows how we will die, it can all be so overwhelming to take in, and I don’t know that I’ll ever grasp it or comprehend it.  But no matter what the answer, we know that He uses all things for His good and in this, it’s so apparent. In all God’s plans, despite our lack of understanding, I know that Dez saved more than one life this week.  We may never know, and probably won’t know, whose life he saved or how many lives, when that one decision is made because of this week that will change someone’s future, but it will happen and I feel certain.

Dez so clearly touched everyone he knew in some way and while I don’t profess to have known him very well, I am thankful to have had him go on a couple of photos shoots with his sweet MacKenzie, who is a rock like I’ve never seen, and I knew instantly Dez was an adorable sweetheart and that she’d picked a good one. I also knew he loved that girl.  After all, how many boys go on two photo shoots with their girl so they can get some sweet couple shots together!  And he had that darn smile that would melt your heart, no wonder she loved him.  Prayers to that sweet girl.  Yes, she’s 18 and neither of them knew what the future held for them, but in this moment in time, he was the love of her life, he was everything.  We can all remember that feeling and there’s nothing like it.